Fakta om PL:s tuffaste spelare

Fakta jag hittade om allas vår Martin Skrtel:

Martin Skrtel doesn't tackle forwards. He stares them down until they give the ball to him.

When Skrtel makes a tackle god winces.

A comet didnt wipe out dinosuars, it was Martin Skrtel arriving on Earth.

If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Martin Skrtel kicks you your relatives will feel it.

There is no ctrl button on Skrtel's keyboard. Skrtel is always in control.

Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Martin Skrtel is Martin Skrtel.

Skrtel can sneeze with his eyes open.

They once made a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anyone.

Martin Skrtel was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost

Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird.

When Skrtel breaks his arm or leg he saws it off and it grows back straight away.

Martin Skrtel is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

When he jumps in the ocean, he doesnt get wet, the sea gets Skrtled.

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

Martin Skrtel was the first MAN on the Moon.

Martin Skrtel doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Skrtel does not sleep. He waits.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

There wasn't 300 Spartans, there was just 1 Martin Skrtel.

Can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Martin Skrtel doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Martin Skrtel dies two years ago but Death is too scared to tell him.

When Martin Skrtel does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

When Martin Skrtel walks through a metal detector at the airport and it beeps,he frisks the security guard.

Jedis and Sith use the Force. Martin Skrtel IS the Force.

Martin Skrtel can draw a straight line with a compass.

Skrtel makes onions cry.

Martin Skrtel is the reason why Wally is hiding in all of his books.

When Martin Skrtel pays for a meal in New York,the waiter tips him.

Martin Skrtel can beat rock with scissors.

Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Martin Skrtel crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

He has looked into the abyss, laughed, then had some dinner.

Martin Skrtel uses a night light. Not because Martin Skrtel is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel makes hurricanes when he blinks.

Martin Skrtel leaves messages before the beep.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Martin Skrtel is on.

Martin Skrtel's calendar jumps from March 31st to April 2nd....because nobody fools Martin Skrtel"

Dagens låt: Christian Kjellvander - Two souls
You can only ever die in two arms and I like yours the best